The Way of Cats

My husband, Peter, had never had a cat before we adopted Felix, and Felix is taking full advantage of this.

Peter didn’t know, for instance, that cats require tuna, right out of the can, every night at precisely 8:30 p.m.—until Felix informed him. Peter did not know that he was not permitted to be late, nor was he allowed to run out of tuna. Felix has a firm no-substitutions policy. Peter now understands this.

Peter didn’t know the kinds of games that cats like to play, so Felix had to train him from scratch. This has been a lot of work for Felix, but he is patient, and Peter is a remarkably good student—for starting his training at such an advanced age.

Felix started Peter out with relatively easy games at first. There was the Towel Over the Head game, which is quite simple once you get the hang of it. All Peter had to do was throw a towel over Felix’s head and stomp around the floor in front of him so Felix could chase Peter by sound from underneath the towel. The towel serves as a handicap for Felix because, obviously, catching Peter without a towel over his head would be far too easy and not much of a game.

After Towel Over the Head was mastered, Peter moved on to more challenging games. He played Around the House With a Mouse, where Felix has Peter run around with a mouse on a string. But that grew old quickly because Peter is far too slow. They tried Hide and Seek, but that also became tedious because Peter was loud as well as slow, and it was not reasonable to think he could ever outsmart Felix.

Then Peter graduated to Cat in a Box and a Stick, and I have to say, this is where Peter really began to excel as a student. Felix got inside a box and Peter poked the rubber end of a hiking pole into the open top while Felix grabbed onto the end of the stick. This game sounds deceptively simple, but you must have a light touch with the stick and not punch Felix in the stomach too hard while still moving the stick quickly and coming up with unexpected moves. I tried to play this game once, and Felix jumped out of the box and looked at me with disappointment. I clearly did not understand the rudiments of the game. Felix waited for Peter to play again.

Then we had a larger-than-usual Amazon delivery and Felix got a bigger box. That’s when things got more interesting because Peter had the brilliant idea of cutting a small window in the box and revising the game to Cat in a Box With a Hole and a Stick, and this proved to be even better. Peter laughed himself silly, and Felix played to exhaustion. Peter then cut several more holes in the box, so it became Cat in a Box With Several Holes and a Stick. Felix’s paws were poking out of several windows at once, and Peter left for his bike ride later and later because of the extended rounds required to play this game properly.

“You never had a cat before?” I asked Peter.

“Never! I knew nothing about cats,” he insisted.

“Well, you are an expert now.”

It’s surprising, really. Peter is a natural with cats. But they say when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Peter was ready and Felix appeared, ready to mentor Peter in the way of cats.

Till next time,

Carrie

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